The Winter Olympics; How to Look at my Home Country; an Alternative Anthem

I watched the opening ceremonies and enjoyed myself. I now I feel dirty and cheap. I am not kidding. I heard the news about that athlete killed on the luge track and began to feel that the International Olympic Committee could have done worse than to cancel the games this year.

Does anyone else out there believe in curses? I don't, but I often make exceptions. An athlete died; protests against the event have become more violent (how often do torch runners need such a large police escort?); one of the torches did not spring up for the lighting ceremony (interesting how the individual torches look like joints and the games are in Vancouver - wink); and now they have slush on the slopes. I wonder...

And now the national anthem. I have heard enough complaints about this to wonder if we really are ready to have the games...again (hey, I live in Montreal; I know how much these things cost). The song itself was the usual mix of hyperbole and nonsense, but I feel that it is time for a change from the change (even my mom is worried).

Well, she won't like this (most of you won't either), but I was digging through my old notes and found the following. Enjoy(?):

O Canada (alternate version)

O Canada,
Our stolen native land.
True patriot luck,
Doing what the Yanks command.

With bloated hearts,
And jiggling thighs
(a true pain in the knees),

From far and wide,
Why, Canada,
Do you make an ass of me?

Please keep the land,
If you like the fee.
O Canada
What have you done for me?
Ah Canada
Get rid of the G.S.T!